Čudesna draž neizvesnosti

“Misterija i neizvesnost su energije života. Ne dozvolite da vas nepotrebno uplaše, jer one drže dosadu na odstojanju i bude kreativnost” R. I. Fitzhenry

Moje iskustvo pokazuje da svi uživamo u sistemu u kome vlada izvesnost, u kome plivamo u domenu poznatog, oslobodjeni bilo kakvih talasanja. Medjutim, veoma često u životu susrećemo se sa situacijama u kojima moramo da surfujemo na talasima neizvesnosti i nepredviljivosti.

Kroz istoriju, veliki umovi poput Vinikota i Kitsa, pisali su o važnosti posedovanja kapaciteta za neizvesnost. Neizvesnost je stanje u kome smo svi bili, i opet ćemo biti, a čije su glavne odlike briga i stres. Ponekada ovo stanje može potrajati prilično dugo i zato je od presudnog značaja razvijanje snažne psihologije i sistema za održavanje iste.

U cilju razvijanja sopstvene sposobnosti da se nosimo sa neizvesnošću, moramo neprestano nastojati da se razvijamo da bi i naši energetski potencijali rasli, tako da - kada se i desi nešto neplanirano - anksioznost bude znatno umanjena.

Za početak, kreiranje kapaciteta za neizvesnost iziskuje strogu disciplinovanost i posvećenost s naše strane. Medjutim vremenom, kako postanemo svesni naših stanja u situacijama koje su nepoznate i neizvesne, mi učimo da funkcionišemo u njima, bez zrnca brižnosti i stresa. Osposobljavamo se da dočekujemo te iste situacije sa dobrodošlicom i da ih cenimo, jer učimo mnogo iz njih.

Čak i kada nema “kriznih situacija” kao takvih, naš oformljen kapacitet za neizvesnost služi kao preventivna mera. Postaje neka vrsta spontanog filtera kroz koji se oslobadjaju ranije frustracije, ograničena verovanja i otpori.

Naš kapacitet za neizvesnost znači oslobadjanje sve energije koja je nekada bila vezana za stresne i neizvesne situacije. Jednom kad je ta energija oslobodjena, stvara se prostor za radost življenja, za kreativnost, za fleksibilnost. I zato je veoma važno imati razvijen i duboko ukorenjen kapacitet za neizvesnost.

Imajući ovo u vidu, želim vam nedelju punu divnih neizvesnosti, a ako stignete zabavite se tekstom u prilogu koji izlazi iz šablona izvesnog I očekivanog

Ov1 2or3k1 sl3ži d1 dok1že k1ko s3 n1ši 36ovi s2osobni z1 7enij1lne
s5v1ri! N1 2oče5k3 je bilo 5eško 1li s1d1, 3 ovo6 red3 v1š 36 či51 ovo 135o615ski bez r1z6išlj1nj1, b3di5e 2onosni! S16o neki lj3di 6o73 d1 či51j3 ovo!

Da li ste spremni da sledite same sebe?

Bila je ovo zanimljiva nedelja. Nedelja kojom su prodefilovali intersantni, inspirativni, hrabri ljudi. Ljudi koji idu dalje uprkos preprekama, ljudi koji postavljaju nove standarde, podizu lestvicu, ljudi sa vizijom kako za sebe, tako i za svoje okruzenje. Ljudi koji nesebicno daju, ljudi koji vole druge ljude, ljudi sa jasnom idejom ko su i sta je njihova misija u zivotu.

I upravo ovo pitanje o tome sta je nasa misija, i kako mozemo da zivimo autenticno, prateci svoje srce, je tema koja uvek tera na razmisljanje, a i privukla je u moj zivot dogadjaj o kome zelim napisati par recenica...

Elem, pre par nedelja, prijateljica me je pozvala i pitala da li zelim da idem na promociju knjige Eve Branson, jer, po recima moje prijateljice, postoji nesto u meni sto je neverovatno podseca na nju (Eve Branson). Za neupucene, Eve Branson je majka Sir Richard-a Branson-a, zena koju je Kate Winslet proslog leta spasla od pozara na Bransonovom ostrvu Necker.

Kad sam ugledala Eve, ono sto mi je odmah privuklo paznju je njena spontanost, otvorenost, radoznalost i vragolast osmeh:-)! Imajte na mu da je promocija njene knjiga bila rezervisana za porodicu, i uzi krug prijatelja, tako da je spontanost sa njene strane bila i ocekivana, mada...

Razlika izmedu onih ljudi koji su otvoreni i spontani samo sa ljudma koje poznaju, i Eve je u tome, sto je ona ceo zivot zivela tako sto je ostala svoja, autenticna, spontana, otvorena, bez obzira na to ko je u njenim drustvu/okruzenju. Iz njenih prica jasno se videlo da je hrabra, da ne prihvata 'ne' kao odgovor. Naucila je da upravlja avionom u vreme kada zenama nije bilo dozvoljeno da hodaju same ulicom, a kamoli da voze avione! Ocigledno je da se upravlja Niceovom filozofijom, a to je da kad je 'zasto' dovoljno jako, put do 'kako' se lako nadje... Mozete zamisliti kako je taj njen zivotni stav uticao na njenu decu?! Sir Richard Branson je vlasnik Virgin airlines-a!!!

Jasno je da je Eve bila spremna da prati sebe, svoje srce. Odlucna, prisutna i svesna sebe i svojih mogucnosti, hrabro je isla u pravcu o kome drugi nisu ni sanjali! I znate sta?! Taj njen stav je dao rezultate. Njen zivot je ispunjen i osmisljen. Ovo pokazuje, da ako smo spremni da sledimo sebe i svoje snove, mozemo otici daleko!

Glavi sastojak za ovakav zivot je da to uradimo sami, i da ne ocekujemo od drugih da sanjaju nase snove! Ne mozete biti dobar advokat, lekar, ekonomista, muzicar, ako Vas ta profesija koju ste 'izabrali' ne ispunjava. Ne moze se sanjati o ispunjenom zivotu, ako nismo iskreni prema samima sebi. Ako ne sledimo sebe...

Sa ovim na umu, pozivam Vas da ove nedelje nadjete trenutak za sebe i zapitate se sta bi trebalo da se desi, kako biste iskreno i autenticno sledili sebe. Sta bi trebalo da se desi, kako biste sebi 'poklonili' to iskustvo... I makar na kratko osetili lepotu, jednostavnost i ispunjenost Vaseg autenticnog bica!

Loše Nasuprot Osrednjem

Dragi prijatelji,

Moja cela protekla nedelja je bila vezana za “Pay it forward”* i ispunjena nasumičnim dobrim delima. Bez obzira koliko velika ili mala, ona doprinose našem svetu i njegovom poboljšanju.
Srećom, odrasla sam u porodici gde je “Pay it forward” bilo i ostalo jedini način koji moja porodica i ja znamo. Ove nedelje sam bila posebno ohrabrena, jer sam imala priliku da se angažujem kroz “Pay it forward” na različite načine, što je dovelo do nekih vrlo zanimljivih razgovora.
U svetu u kome živimo, previše je sebičnosti i premalo ljudske povezanosti. Ono što primećujem je da su neki ljudi postali podozrivi prema drugima. Uplašeni da budu dobri i da čine dobro.
Ovakvo ponašanje je dovelo do nastanka nove vrste ljudi. Ta nova vrsta je - mediokritet vrsta. Živimo u svetu u kome se slave mediokritet, osrednja dela i rezultati.
To me je nagnalo da pomislim da su osnovne karakteristike osrednjosti - nedostatak odgovornosti, nepostojanje svesti o društvenom progresu i blagostanju, i ogromna trivijalna ambicija. Ove odlike su proizvod ćelijskog nivoa strukture i stoga - mogu da budu opasne.  One pothranjuju jedna drugu, a u isto vreme, protivreče jedna drugoj. Pojedinci koji neguju osrednjost, nažalost, nisu ni svesni toga.
Vidite, kada je nešto loše, ono ima šansu da postane bolje; jer loše može da ostane u tom stanju samo odredjeno vreme pre nego što postane svesno da stvari moraju da se promene.
I tako, loše se menja i kreće ka tome da postane dobro. Sa druge strane, to nije slučaj sa mediokritetom. Zašto? Zato što je mediokritet zasnovan na glorifikovanju svoje sopstvene prosečne egzistencije dok, u isto vreme, pothranjuje iluziju veličine. U takvom postojanju ima vrlo malo, ili nimalo, prostora za promenu.
Imajući ovo na umu, pozivam vas da provedete nedelju praktikujući “Pay it forward” i razvijajući svest o osrednjim strukturama u vašem okruženju - svi ih imamo, samo je pitanje uočavanja, pomeranja i delovanja mimo njih!

Šaljem vam okeane ljubavi,

Lidija

*“Pay it forward” je izraz u engleskom jeziku koji se najbliže može prevesti kao “prenesi dalje”. Izraz se koristi da opiše koncept po kome, čineći dobro delo, pojedinac ne očekuje nikakvu direktnu ličnu korist zauzvrat, već nasuprot - očekuje i nada se da će primalac dobrog dela biti inspirisan da širi dobročinstvo dalje, prema trećim licima. Koncept je star ali se smatra da sama fraza potiče iz romana “Garden of delight” iz 1916, spisateljice Lili Hardi Hamond. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward)
Kako praktikovati “Pay it forward”:

1. Obratite pažnju na prilike da pomognete drugima. Možda imate starijeg komšiju, ili nekoga u okruženju kome je potrebna pomoć a ko je previše ponosan da pita za pomoć. Svojim nenametljivim dobrim delima možete promeniti poglede ljudi na svet.
2. Učinite nešto lepo za nekoga koga ne poznajete (ili ne poznajete dovoljno dobro). To bi trebalo da bude značajna pomoć ali ne nekome od koga očekujete bilo šta zauzvrat.
3. Raširite ovu priču. Ako vam osoba kojoj ste pomogli zahvali i poželi da vam uzvrati dobro delo, zamolite je da umesto toga uradi nešto dobro za tri osobe koje ne poznaje, i da ih zamoli da oni učine isto za još tri osobe. Ideja je da se svesno poveća dobročinstvo u svetu.
4. Prenesite dalje. Kada primetite da je neko učinio nešto dobro za vas, podsetite sebe da ‘prenesete dalje’ i da i sami učinite nešto dobro za tri druge osobe.

(http://www.wikihow.com/Pay-It-Forward; www.pifexperience.org )

Weekly Food for Thought - Alternative Dialogue

Dear Friends,

‘A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet’. ~Truman Capote

This week the thought that occupied my mind was communication. More specifically, multiple levels of communication.

The beauty of communication lies in the fact that it consists of many levels, and in our everyday communication with others we use those levels.

Variety of our communication depends on our level of curiosity, knowledge, inspiration, mood we are in, our circumstances, environment, etc. What is important though is that we must work on developing different ways to communicate with one another, as this will contribute to the quality of our communication with others.

In this context, I would like to focus on a specific kind of communication, the one I choose to call ‘alternative dialogue’.

You are probably guessing what I am about to say;-).

We all communicate differently, sometimes we listen intently, other times we interrupt the conversation, and there are times when we wait until it’s our turn to speak…In all these scenarios, very often there isn’t a real meaningful interaction between what is being said and what is being listened to or heard.

To put it simply, while one person is talking, the other one is not really listening to the content, but is eager to fill a nanosecond gap, and is working over time to think up of a suitable, or not, content with which it would fill that nanosecond gap, and in doing so, they are not attentively listening to the other person.

In this meaningless vacuum of words, there is often a different non-verbal position of a listener, depending on whether he (the listener) is a disinterested (careless) or too eager (careful).

In almost every conversation, a disinterested (careless) person, is not really interested in listening, and in a rather dominant fashion accentuates their story and its importance, while, an eager (careful) person does the opposite.

A careful person, in almost every conversation plays down the importance of their story. It is important to note that both careless and a careful person are engaging in an alternative dialogue, without any desire for a meaningful conversation.

I’ve found that a good dialogue tells you not only what people are saying or how they are communicating, but it tells you a great deal about the quality of the character.

So, instead of being careless and careful in a conversation, it is a lot more valuable to care.

Because to care means to be present, committed and attentive, and this will create a collagen thread between listening and talking.

With this in mind, in every conversation, strive for commitment, as it is the only way to ensure a meaningful and delightful communication.

I wish you a wonderful week and send you an ocean of love,
Lidija

©Momentum Strategies 2012

Weekly Food for Thought - Of Bathing and Laundering

‘The wound is the place where the Light enters you.’ ~ Rumi

Dear Friends,

It has been an interesting month. A challenging month. A month of holidaying, working, learning and being tested.

A month that has flown by, and a month where I've met some wonderful people, a soul mate, and a month where I learnt that even my mum, a Super Woman, couldn't escape Mr. Cancer!

It came, crept in, unannounced and decided to give her a little warning...A reminder, if you like, that life is to be sampled like the most delicious and scrumptious delicacy, and not something that is there to be rushed!

My mum rushed. Everywhere. Never late for anything. Always prepared and ready. She ran before the wind...And while she was running, she couldn't run away from cancer. It caught up with her.

The worst is over, she is out of the hospital, and at home enjoying wheatgrass, green drinks, reading, and enjoying life. Appreciating it and seeing it through different eyes. She has become a little selfish, and I like that. Before she says 'yes' she stops, checks with herself and her 'internal team' and then proceeds. She is giving herself back to herself. She is loving herself again...

I delighted in witnessing this change in her. A change that was 'forced' upon her, a change she didn't resist. She embraced it, found a higher purpose, learnt to slow down, enjoy every minute of every day...

And while all this was going on, I couldn't help noticing, that instead of bathing ourselves in the fragrant and healing bath that life is, we very often choose to just laundry ourselves; forgetting that we really only have one shot at life!

With this in mind, I invite you to explore areas of your life where instead of choosing to bathe yourself you choose laundering! Stop, consider it and choose wisely!

I wish you a wonderful week and send you an ocean of love,
Lidija

© Momentum Strategies 2012

Weekly Food for Thought - Of Labyrinths and Obstacles

'The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.' ~ Moliere

Dear Friends,

A conversation I had with a dear friend, about self imposed obstacles, self-sabotage, the need to listen to our inner voice, that's not always supportive and encouraging, let alone kind and loving, made me think that it is actually us that are complicating our lives, and not some kind of external forces, over which we have no choice.

We create labyrinths, out of which we'd rather not come out;-)!

When something untoward happens, we are inclined to go back to a tried and tested victim state, then move onto 'this always happens to me' phrase, only to fall back into the classic mode of blaming some external force:-)!

What fascinates me and begs a question is how come we, more often than not, go for the usual, predictable patterns of behavior, those that may have had their use in the past, and are no longer needed? Often times, we know fully well that they are in need of a total overhaul, and yet, we cling onto them.

It is those predictable patterns that create labyrinths in our lives that we find difficult to get out of. And those self-made labyrinths are a cause for concern, as self-sabotage feeds on them.

So yesterday, in that conversation with a friend, I had a major breakthrough with regards to the labyrinths that I created:-)!

Frankly, I was fed up with going round in circles, without seeing a way out! I decided to transform labyrinths into obstacles, as they (obstacles), are fun to overcome and work with, they get my creative juices flowing, I become more resourceful and they help me grow!

And the most important thing is, that this simple, yet powerful decision, helped me move from being at the effect to getting at cause, in a heartbeat:-)!

Are there any labyrinths in your life that need turning into fun obstacles:-)?

I wish you a wonderful week, and sending you oceans of love,

Lidija
©Momentum Strategies 2012

Weekly Food for Thought - Jung & Pay It Forward

Dear Friends,

You will, have, no doubt, heard and said many times before, a phrase: ‘There are no coincidences’. At times, this phrase can sound a bit empty, meaningless even. These coincidences, on the surface have no real origin. They are spiritual in nature, possibly driven by cause and effect, and are omnipresent. We just need to be open and let them happen. And when they appear, that is what we call authentic Jungian coincidence.

Alongside this type of coincidences, there are bizarre, everyday ones, those that happen to all of us; and it is becoming increasingly ‘fashionable’ to announce them as events of a ‘higher’ nature?. And you will agree that, there’s no real criterion to differentiate Jungian synchronicity from everyday coincidences, in an academic, theoretical way, at least.

I believe that authentic Jungian synchronicity is the one that links our unconscious intention and creates possibilities for new and unexpected events. These events, albeit unexpected appear to be linked by an invisible thread?.

And this very kind of magical synchronicity started happening to me last week, and reached its highest point over the weekend!

Anyways, the end of a busy working week, has lead me to Montenegro, where I decided to spend the weekend exploring the beauty of the Adriatic coast. All senses, all receptors, my Unconscious were open and at the ready?! And then, the magic started to unfold…

A simple event, put in motion another event, and paved the way for yet another, and another, and then a whole series of synchronicities! At one point I began to feel as Jung has decided to spend the weekend with me?!

To an uneducated eye, a series of events that was unfolding before my very eyes, would’ve been ‘nothing’ special…I however could see the point behind these events?!

You see, when a plethora of Jungian events starts to dance the most enchanting dance right in front of you, you feel, with every atom of your being, that there’s something higher, something that carries a real meaning, going on. This is not an event that will satisfy a profane and by default comment that  ‘There are no coincidences’!

So here’s this weekend’s example: when, on your walk by the beach, (engaged in thoughts of random acts of kindness and planning a Pay It Forward schedule for Eastern Europe), a shadow of a late French doctor of Serbian descent, appears, the very doctor, who did so many random kind acts of kindness, both in Serbia, Montenegro, France, and later in Africa, in Mali; the man who was practically living his life along the principles of Pay It Forward, (long before Pay It Forward movement was born), and in steps a ghost of an African Princess Kadi, the late doctor’s wife, in a place called Kindness (Dobrota in Montenegrin), you begin to appreciate all that Jung is doing for you?! To top the whole experience off, after the most magical weekend, I got and an invite for a drink with one of the prominent art collectors who supports and promotes young and up and coming artists…All this and, in a weirdly wonderful way, I get to be involved in these beautiful Jungian synchronicites?!

I send you oceans of love and I wish you a week of wonderful synchronicites!

Lidija

©Momentum Strategies 2012