Weekly Food for Thought - Would You Rather Talk About it, or Experience it ;-)?

“Nothing ever becomes real, ‘til it is experienced!” – John Keats

Dear Friends,

Wow! What a week! We have got so much to share with you! And boy, are we glad that this coming weekend, i.e. in just under two days, we have our March (post Rhythm and NLP Amsterdam gig we’ve just participated in) workshop and are excited to share some of the new stuff!

We had an honour to spend some time with the power team: John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. Clair, organized by our amazing Friends Catalina and Peter, another power team!!!

Yet, before we start, let us ask you something? Have you ever had the privilege to spend a week in the presence of a man who is the leader in the field he also founded, or co-founded?

If yes, you probably know what we are talking about, if not, here is the thing....

Sometimes during workshops of this kind participants opt to discuss the exercises and what has been talked about on stage, rather than to participate in them. This is rarely the best strategy for learning. And especially not so when it comes to a field of experience like NLP.

During this week’s event it was such a pleasure to witness that people actually went for the experience. They did the exercises and experienced the results. And with experience comes the sort of understanding that is truly worth having. Which in essence sums up what the New Code NLP is all about.

There is a classic experiment by Gazzaniga (you can find it on youtube). The subject is a man whose brain has been divided into two. The word “bell” is shown to his right brain. The word “music” to his left brain. When asked to select one out of four pictures, depicting various musical instruments and a bell, he chooses the bell. He is asked why he chose the bell, and his left hemisphere comes up with a totally irrelevant explanation. An explanation it firmly believes in.

The scary thing is that he sounds pretty much like anyone does when they explain why they did one thing as opposed to another. This is the nature of the left hemisphere - to provide explanations. Sometimes these explanations have something to do with reality, but if they don’t, it doesn’t really matter to the left hemisphere. It will be just as convinced by its own reasoning whether it is correct or not.

This is what talking and chatting often is like - providing comparisons or explanations based on past understandings, no matter if these past understandings are correct or relevant. In the context of an NLP seminar this often wastes fantastic opportunities for discovery and change into useless rationalizations and misinformed chatter. NLP, if presented by competent trainers, will inevitably present things, which exist outside that which is previously understood.

With this in mind, we would like to invite you to opt for the experience rather than just thinking about it, or talking to yourself about it.

Here is an exercise that can help you move in that direction.

During the day, make certain to have a rich sensory experience. Perhaps taking a shower, walking on dry leaves, etc.. As you take the shower describe in sensory specific language what you are experiencing. No evaluation, no interpretation. Just raw experience!

No words like “beautiful”, “sensual”, “cleansing”. But more like this: The wetness of the thousands of drops of water as they burst open while reaching the skin, or something along those lines... The same goes for walking on dry leaves...

Enjoy your experiences, and leave talking for later;-)!

As always wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your talkative and experienced trainers
Lidija and Thomas

P.S. Next  weekend, April 5-7, we offer a rather unique opportunity. We will be delivering a superconcentrated workshop in NLP - Momentum NLP Diploma. Two and a half days of learnings and experiences you can transform your life with. Welcome to our world!

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)
Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer, NLP Coach(Classic & New Code)

Copyright © Momentum Strategies 2013

Nedeljna hrana za razmisljanje - Kako zaustaviti odugovlačenje - počevši od sutra

“Odložite za sutra samo ono što ste spremni da ostavite nedovršeno ako sutra umrete” - Pablo Picasso

Dragi prijatelji,

Da li vam se ikada desilo da budete uvučeni u domen odugovlačenja? U to bezbedno i dobro poznato mesto sutrašnjice, sledećeg dana, ili čak sledećeg meseca...

Sigurna sam da vam je to mesto poznato... Ako nije, slobodno zakucajte na vrata samo-zavaravanja i vidite da li ga tamo možete pronaći :-)!

A u tim uradiću-to-sutra situacijama, jeste li primetili kako ste, doduše samo na delić sekunde, prevplavljeni osećajem potpune radosti? Kažem na delić sekunde, jer je to približno trajanje iluzije radosti! Zašto? Zato što odmah iza, u redu, stoji osećaj krivice, spreman da zakorači. A krivica retko kada putuje sama... Vodi sa sobom verne saputnike: kritični unutrašnji dijalog i stid! Odugovlačenje stvara i druga prijateljstva dok putuje dalje ka Gubitnikogradu :-)!

Česta je zabluda da su oni koji odugovlače lenji! Nisu! Oni su preplavljeni imaginarnim naporom i neuspešni u razmišljanju o mišljenju! A ključ je upravo u razmišljanju o stvarima mišljenja! Vidite, odugovlačenje je stvar izbora... Izaberite “želim da” umesto da se beskrajno vucete I zamajavate sa “treba da” - jer, budimo iskreni - nemate plan za one slučajeve u kojima možete očekivati da budete na iskušenju da ne uradite baš to što “treba da” uradite ;-).

Ljudi koji pričaju o tome kako sjajno rade pod pritiskom i kratkim rokovima, zavaravaju sebe i žive u svetu samo-iluzije. Kako možete biti sjajni u nečemu bez jasne strategije?! Bez strategije vi ste kao muva bez glave, uvek žurite, žalite se i stavljate sebe u modalitet žrtve. Nema gotovo ničega sjajnog u ovome!
Jedna stvar koja je retko razmatrana je - oni koji odugovlače bi trebalo da dobiju zasluge za vredan rad. Odugovlačenje je težak posao! Pomalo kao onaj što je radio Sizif - grčki momak koga su bogovi kaznili time da kotrlja stenu uz planinu... tek da bi se ona skotrljala dole čim se približio vrhu, tako da je morao da ponavlja jedno te isto - ad infinitum.

Kada odugovlačite skloni ste da pratite sledeći scenario: “Uh, trebalo bi da uradim ovo”, i onda zamislite da ga radite na takav način da iscrpite sebe pre nego što uopšte počnete. A onda odustanete! I stena se skotrlja niz planinu. Ali tu nije kraj. Moraćete kasnije da sebe ponovo podsetite: “Uf, stvarno treba da počnem!”, a onda sopstvenim zamišljanjem ponovo premorite sami sebe u bolnoj i uzaludnoj borbi da prebrodite unutrašnje prepreke, i tako se nastavlja sve iznova - ad exhaustium.

I ovde leži jedan od uzroka odugovlačenja - nesposobnost da zamislite šta želite da postignete i šta morate da uradite na način koji čini da želite da to uradite, način koji je primamljiv.

Kada budete mogli, probajte ovu korisnu vežbu - razmislite o sebi-sada i o budućem/oj-sebi. Vaše sadašnje-Ja treba da napravi strukturu koja će omogućiti da vaše buduće-Ja napravi pravi izbor.
Ako vaše sadašnje-Ja misli da treba da se dovedete u formu počevši od sutrašnje večeri, a kada to veče dodje vaše buduće-Ja uporedi napor potreban da se dovedete u formu (u nekakvom nespecifičnom okviru) -  sa gledanjem vašeg omiljenog TV programa, velike su šanse da će TV pobediti.

Ako, s druge strane, vaše sadašnje-Ja napravi konkretan aranžman koji će omogućiti vašem budućem-Ja da deluje u vašem najboljem interesu dugoročno gledano, npr. da zakažete unapred termine sa ličnim trenerom - vaše buduće-Ja neće imati drugi izbor do da ode u teretanu, jer je ste se novčano obavezali.
Nekim ljudima su strategije za donošenje dobrih odluka, postavljanje ciljeva i njihovo sprovodjenje date po rodjenju. Ostatak populacije mora da ih nauči.

Kao što za svaki ‘jang’ postoji jedan ‘jin’, postoji i dobra strana odugovlačenja. Dobro odugovlačenje može biti kada čekate da vam dodju svi računi i onda ih platite sve odjednom, jer tako utrošite manje vremena nego kada biste ih plaćali posebno. Dobro odugovlačenje je kada ne pripremate svoju prezentaciju mesecima unapred, nego u nedelji neposredno pre izlaganja. Delom jer ne morate da je provežbate pred izlaganje a delom jer imate šansu da je dobro pripremite skupljajući ideje usput.

Zar ne bi bilo sjajno da počnete da razradjujete strategiju za nadmudrivanje sebe i odmaknete se od sveta samo-zavaravanja i praznih obećanja?! Pozivam vas da razmotrite sve ono što ste ostavljali za neki drugi dan, mesec, godinu, i izvučete kalendar, ubeležite datume i posvetite se onome što zaista želite! Prestanite da odlažete svoj život i počnite da ga živite! Lako je! Stupite u kontakt sa mnom, dodjite da porazgovaramo i razradimo te strategije zajedno. Ja sam tu za vas!

Želim vam divnu nedelju i šaljem vam okeane ljubavi,

Vaši praktično proaktivni treneri,
Lidija & Thomas

© Momentum Strategies 2013

Weekly Food for Thought - How to Stop Procrastinating - Starting Tomorrow

‘Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone’ ~ Pablo Picasso

Dear Friends,

Has it ever happened to you that you are drawn to the realm of procrastination? To that safe and well known place of tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, or even next month...

I am sure it has... If it hasn’t, feel free to knock on the door of self-delusion, see if you could find it there:-)!

And in those I-will-do-it-tomorrow situations, did you notice how you are, albeit for a split second, overwhelmed with the feeling of total joy? I say split second, as that is the approximate duration of that illusion of joy! Why? Because the guilt is lined up and ready to step in. And guilt rarely travels alone... It takes with it its trusted companions: criticizing internal dialogue and shame! It (procrastination) makes more friends as it travels further towards the looserville :-)!

It is a common misconception that procrastinators are lazy! They are not! Procrastinators are overwhelmed by imaginary exertion and a failure to think about thinking!

And the key is in this thinking about thinking stuff! You see, procrastination is all about choosing... Going for ‘want’ instead of dragging your feet with ‘should’, as let’s be honest here- you don’t have a plan for those times when you can expect to be tempted;-).

Those people who talk about working great under pressure and tight deadlines, are kidding themselves, and are living in the world of self-delusion. How can you be great at something without a clear strategy?! Without a strategy you are like a headless chicken, always rushing, complaining and getting into the victim mode. There’s hardly anything great about this!

One thing that is rarely considered though - procrastinators should get a lot of credit for being hard workers. Procrastination is a hard work! A bit like that of Sisyphus -  the Greek chap whom the gods punished by having him roll a boulder up a mountain … only to have it roll all the way down whenever he approached the top, so that he had to do it again and again ad infinitum.

When you procrastinate you tend to go like this: Ah, I should do this, and then you imagine doing it in such a way that you exhaust yourself before you’ve even started. And then you give up! And the boulder rolls down the mountain. But it doesn’t end there. You will have to remind yourself later on again: ‘Ah, I really need to get going!’ and then you exhaust yourself with your own imagination again in that painful and futile struggle to overcome certain internal obstacles, and so on, again and again, ad exhaustium.

And herein lies one of the causes of procrastination - inability to imagine what you want to accomplish and what you must do in a way which makes you want to do it, in a way that is compelling.

When you get a chance, feel free to do this useful exercise - Think of yourself as your now-you and your future-you. Your now-you needs to create a structure which makes it easy for your future-you to make the right choice.

If your now-you thinks that you ought to get fit, starting tomorrow evening and when tomorrow comes your future-you compares the effort starting to get fit in some unspecified way with watching your favorite TV show, chances are, the TV will win.

If on the other hand your now-you makes concrete arrangements that will make your future-you act with your long term interest at heart, e.g. you phone the gym and sign up for sessions with a personal trainer, the future-you will have no choice but to deal with this by going to the gym, as the commitment in the form of payment has been made.

Some people get the strategies for making good decisions, setting goals and making them happen with their mother’s milk. The rest of the population has to learn them.

Just as there is a yin to every yang there is a good side to procrastination. Good procrastination can be obvious things like saving up a bunch of bills and paying them all at the same time, because you then get them done in less time than if you do them individually. Good procrastination is when you don’t prepare your presentation months in advance but only during the week leading up to it. Partly, because you don’t have to rehearse it before delivery, and partly because you get to prepare it by picking up good ideas as you go along.

Wouldn’t it be great to start devising a strategy to outsmart yourself and move away from the world of self-delusion and empty promises?! We invite you to take some time to go over all the things you’ve been leaving for another day, month, year, to get that calendar out, set the dates and commit to whatever it is you really want! Stop postponing your life, and start living! It’s easy! Get in touch with us, come and see us, let’s meet and devise those strategies together. We are here for you!

Wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your pragmatically proactive trainers,

Lidija and Thomas

Lidija Markovic – NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)
Thomas Bjorge – NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)

Copyright © Momentum Strategies 2013

Weekly Food for Thought - The Super Importance of Self-Confidence

‘Life isn’t about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself!’~ George Bernard Shaw

Dear Friends,

You have probably, by now, thought, spoke, read and heard about the importance of self- confidence. You also, have, as a result of an instant surge of it (self-confidence) fulfilled some or all of of your dreams, followed up on your decisions, stood up for yourself unafraid of your authenticity and sure of what you want and how you want it.

The significance of having a self-confidence for everything we do in life is super important. Others treat you, according to how you project yourself.

But how does one go about getting self- confidence? How come some people have the world at their feet and everything they set their eyes on they get, and find it very easy, and for others it is nothing but struggle?! Simple.

Those who have it have worked on creating it. They are not waiting for some magical genetic wand to appear where the self- confidence will be unleashed from their DNA chain ?.

True, some people are born with lashings of self-confidence, while others are left to their own devices and need to learn it. Yet, what is important is that it is available and can be learnt! And it is easy!
Here’s how!

First of all, let’s start by allowing ourselves to admit that at one time or another in our lives, we’ve all had some kind of achievement, a successful event we remember and that we are proud of.

So let this be the first step in your quest for self-confidence. Allow all your successes, achievements, moments of glory to roll and overflow your mind. Breathe them in. Bring those moments and see them, feel them, hear them in your mind’s eye. Feel free to write them down if it’s easier for you. You’ll notice that the more you do this, the more confidence you’ll start to experience in every field of your life.

While doing this, and letting the movie of your successes roll, it is important to let go of the need to focus on failures, moments when you weren’t operating at your optimum! Let go of regrets, disappointments, modal operators of ‘should’ve’, ‘could’ve’… Instead, write them down and cross them over, one by one. They don’t belong in the present moment, they reside in the realm of the past and that’s where they should stay. Pick up the learnings from them and everything that you may find useful in the present moment and move on.

Focus on what motivates you, what pulls you, what rocks your boat, what juices you, what makes you jump out of bed in the morning ready to roll. Find out what it is that motivates you, and do it. Every day. Without a fail. Create a ritual that will lead you to your greatness.

Soon, you will notice that you have crossed the bridge and that you are on the other side. On the side of those who achieve effortlessly, who walk on the shoulders of giants and not in the shadows of giants. Soon, you’ll hear your voice, your own voice of self- confidence and trust. You’ll sound differently. Notice the words you use. The way you communicate.

It’s all good stuff!

With this in mind, may we ask you to use this week to start creating rituals that will lead you towards your confident self, using the steps listed above.

We wish you a confident week and send you oceans of love,

Your oozing-with-confidence trainers,

Lidija and Thomas

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)
Thomas Bjorge – NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)

Copyright © Momentum Strategies 2013

Weekly Food for Thought - Keep Calm and Carry on...Stress Free

‘Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.’ ~ Buddha

Dear Friends,

Does it ever happen to you that you find yourself in an environment that is conducive to stress?

Please note what happens when you read the following sentences, which could very well be headlines from common mainstream media or some of the brochures that you see flying around in hospitals, medical centres, health clinics, etc: ‘Combat stress!’ ‘Fight stress!” ‘Learn how to control your stress!’

There’s something inherently wrong with the above sentences … As all of them have got ‘the wrong’ wording in them, that sends the wrong signal to your Unconscious. How can you combat, fight, beat, defeat, control something and expect a better result? Is it not a common knowledge, that the more we fight something the more it tends to come back and haunt us?

There is also another cringe worthy concept. That of ‘stressors’! ‘Stressors’ are defined as part of the environment which cause stress in the human organism. This is like the doctor in Moliére‘s play ‘The Imaginary Invalid’, explaining how opium made people sleepy by containing a dormitive principle. In other words, this is nonsense! To say that the environment CAUSES something in the human organism, rather than to understand that the human organism RESPONDS to it is to apply the logic of dead physical systems in the world of the living.

So how about we change the way we talk and think about stress? How about we focus on here and now?! As being here and now will ultimately take care of the stressful situations, as opposed to fighting or combating them, where our focus is directed to preparation for a ‘fight’  :-).

How will being here and now take care of the stress, you may ask? Simple. When you direct your attention to the present moment, to what is going on around you, you’ll relinquish the need to react, and will choose to respond, by being aware of all the resources you have available. As you see, with a cool head, with calm mind, you will learn to respond and not react. Animals react, people respond.

When you start loosing your cool, and start getting in a flap, you’ll instantly find yourself at the effect, and will stop being at cause. And we know that once we are at the effect of things, we stop responding intelligently.

So when you find yourself in a ‘stressful’ situation, look around you, and inside of you, and within a moment, you’ll have diverted your focus and attention to you and what you can do to make the situation better. You’ll start getting into a ‘HOW’ mode, rather than a ‘WHY’ mode....WHY creates a victim and takes you away from yourself, HOW leads you to a solution, and to your inner resources...

Sometimes a stressful environment is part of a vicious circle, and you are the other part. The fact that you choose to respond with stress creates an environment that is even more conducive to stress. For example, it is common to attempt to flee or fight stressful situations. This is not necessarily the best long-term solution. Consider what it would be like if you were to be Joe Cool, acting with the utmost coolness in those situations. When you start to enjoy them, what will be the effects of that?

With this in mind, may we invite you to start routinely finishing stressful situations by cleaning up your nervous system. On a piece of paper, write down everything that is currently occupying your mind, and leave that piece of paper at your desk; then you can forget about it until you return to look at it.

Secondly, take some time to relax. Consciously. Tighten and relax your muscles. Breathe slowly and deeply. Taking in a peaceful environment. Look at a candlelight, the sky, the moon, the stars. (If you need to burn off some adrenaline, take a brisk walk first).

Thirdly, while you enjoy the rest of your time, take some time to give yourself permission to just be. As none of the above will make any sense, if you don’t give yourself permission to be!

And remember the anecdote about the westerner who asked a tai chi master how to use tai chi for dealing with a stressful work environment. The master laughed and said: ‘No, no, no - you don’t use it to deal with a stressful environment - you use it to get away from it!’

As always we send you oceans of love and wish you a peaceful and stress free week,

Yours cool as a cucumber trainers,

Lidija and Thomas


Lidija Markovic – NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)
Thomas Bjorge – NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code)

Copyright © Momentum Strategies 2013