Understanding You, Understanding Others

"You don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue
If you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing too!”
~Judas Priest (British Band)

Dear Friends,

Have you ever found yourself being judged unfairly by others who lacked insight into your situation and thought you did what you did because that's the sort of person you are?

And have you ever found yourself judging someone else because of what they did - and concluding that they did what they did because they are that sort of person? If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, you belong to the ‘normal’ :-) category! This is what most people do. And it is pretty natural.

When you do something, you are paying attention to that particular situation. That is where you get the information about how to act. No one else has the insight you have about that situation, and hence they tend to disregard it and think of you as this or that sort of person.

And of course you do the same. If someone treats you rudely it surely is because they are rude. If someone is happy, it means they are a happy person. Right?!

If an actor plays an intelligent character, we perceive him as intelligent. That may or may not be the case! Him being intelligent that is:-)!

A more rewarding option would be to do the exact opposite: to think of everything we ourselves do, as something we choose to do.  And to think of what others do, in terms of their situation, their context.

We always have a choice! And the choices we make define our character and our destiny. If you think you are the product of the situations you have found yourself in, you really should read Sartre more carefully. Existentialism isn't just teenage philosophy. It is a finger pointing directly toward the simple fact: you can choose. You had a choice and here you are. And if you have lost your ability to choose - if you suffer under the bad faith that circumstances control your actions, then you are in dire need of some high quality NLP.  

Here is the thing. Imagine for a moment those who misjudge you, how much better would their understanding of you be if they spent just a tiny fraction of time considering the situation you are in. And here is the clinch: how much better will you start to understand other people, their situations and motives when you take their situation into consideration.

With this in mind may we invite you to, during the forthcoming week, consider the actions of one or two people you meet. Preferably people of whom you would not be hard pressed to utter descriptive phrase or two. And spend some time analyzing the situation they are operating from. Our bet is that if you do this consistently, just this part, just spending some time attending to what other people see, hear and feel in the present it will alter your understanding of them.

Imagine what it would be like if you took into consideration their previous experiences and the way they filter them. Your whole worldview would change, and will open up new horizons!  

Wishing you wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your understandably understood trainers,

Lidija & Thomas

Lidija Markovic Rosati– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

© Momentum Strategies 2013